


I hate you, I like you, I love you.

by atrillies



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 03:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10676334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atrillies/pseuds/atrillies
Summary: Simmons relationship with Grif has changed a lot over the years.





	I hate you, I like you, I love you.

Grif has to be one of the most obnoxious people you've ever met, almost everything he does infuriates you; from his complete lack of motivation to do work, which more often than not actually involves more work for him in the first place, down to the simpler things such as the fact his snoring is so loud that you're sure the blues could hear it. You hate the way that he seems to eat everything he can find, regardless of its expiration date. The fact that you have to do all his jobs for him because he never does them himself. How you have to clean up after him constantly, especially in your shared bedroom; which is almost always so deeply covered in grime that some nights you have to sleep on the roof to avoid the smell and the disgusting feeling that accompanies after being in there for more than ten minutes. 

The two of you used to bicker and yell at each other constantly, throwing out insults that your certain dug deeper than either of you are willing to admit. Jabs that were meant to be lighthearted and fun sometimes brought up memories you wish you didn't have; and you remember the days where you couldn't stand to be around him because he grated on you too much. You're glad that's over now.

Another thing was the pictures he had hanging on the wall above his bed, most of them were of his home in Hawaii. Scenic pictures of it's natural beauty, and some with him and his sister smiling happily at the camera. For a long while you hated that, you hated how happy he seemed, how he had pictures of his family to cherish. It was selfish; you know, and you feel terrible for it but you couldn't help but feel jealous. However, you're not going to use your poor relationship with your parents as an excuse. Especially not after he told you what really happened to his family.

There are many more things that you like about Grif than you hate; sure you have to think a little harder to bring them up and yes they're a lot more specific but it's the little things that mean the most to you.

He's always been the one there to calm you down, from the day you met on the bridge he's been at your side making little jokes to liven the mood and speaking softly to you when you're both alone to make sure you're really as alright as you say you are. You imagine it's a holdover from looking after his sister for so long, and you can't help but feel grateful for that.

Both of you used to go for short drives around wherever you were stationed and would just sit for hours until the sun set, talking about everything and nothing. It's was a comfort really, something you miss now. More often than not he would fall asleep and you'd have to bring yourself to wake him up, other times it was you that fell asleep; and despite how light a sleeper you are he never seemed to wake you and you always woke up back in the bed. However your favourite was that one time when both of you had fallen asleep, Donut had came looking for you early that morning when he noticed the two of you were missing and woke you up enthusiastically. Of course, not before taking a picture of the your head resting on his chest and his arm draped over your stomach, which is something he teases you about to this day. He had it printed and framed, and it still sits on a shelf in the main room of the base back at Valhalla, and while both of you have complained about it numerous times, neither of you have removed it. You remember that day fondly; waking to a comfortable weight that radiated warmth even through the thick armour. It made you feel safe, even if you wouldn't tell anyone so. Your face was as bright as your armour that day.

You regret that you didn't have a chance to grab the picture before you left.

One of the worse moments in your life was when Grif was dragged off the cliff by the Meta. You couldn't breathe, couldn't think and before you were even aware what was happening you were leant over the side of the icy ledge, almost hyperventilating with tears streaming down your face.  
The relief that flooded over you when you saw him hanging on for dear life was overwhelming and if you're being completely honest you're sure you cried more then, holding him; making sure he was real, than you did when you thought he had died.

When the soldiers of Chorus bombarded you with questions about it a few years later you had to have someone fetch Grif to complete it. You can't tell the story without your eyes and throat burning with tears. Listening to their stories in return was also heartbreaking, and you wish you had had it in you too comfort your girls but you couldn't, not like Grif could. Seeing him train his soldiers was interesting to say the least and you learnt more about him in that month than you had over the past 5 years. He's unorthodox in his methods, but it's more effective than he lets on and you know it. His team had become some of the best at stealth and quick thinking in the group, but it didn't benefit him much at all even if he tried not to let it show. 

You knew that he'd seen this happen before, back home. Being born on a colony you were never able to relate to that, luckily; but even now you can't begin to imagine how it must’ve felt to see it happen again. It showed in him clearly; partly due to the stress and partly due to the shortage of his medication at the time, either way he became more emotional, jumpy, paranoid. Groaning and pulling at his hair when he thought no one would see and for the first time it was you who had to calm him down, and while you worried for him greatly it felt nice to know that he trusted you, and it felt nice to hold him; to keep him safe.

The amount of trauma the two of you have faced together over the years is startling and it's left you nearly inseparable- literally in some regards with Grif being pieced together with grafts of your skin that you had readily given up when you saw him lying on the table bleeding to death years ago. You've been together since the beginning of this messed up science experiment, you've seen him be shot countless times and you've seen him scrape by the edge of death more times than luck should be able to provide; and each time it's no less nerve wracking. You nearly lost him again in the battle against Hargrove. 

\-------------------------

It wasn't pretty, when he woke up in the medical bay being cared for by both Grey and Doc. When he turned to you with half closed eyes, tubes hooked to his nose and wrists with a wide and tired smile. When he grabbed your hand weakly but with more determination than you've ever seen him express. It wasn't elegant but that didn't matter; nothing about your relationship had ever been elegant and so, when Grif asked you to marry him, you didn't say no.

**Author's Note:**

> This is very sloppy but I don't care I'm gay.


End file.
